It so rarely happens

Mom guilt and something more.  It happened today.  It snuck up out of nowhere and hit me.  Divorce remorse.  It had nothing to do with the person I was married to.  It was about a friendship that is no longer, a person that was present in my college and post college life.  I was in her wedding, she was in mine.  I should have said hello but I choked.  I was already feeling Mom guilt for missing one son's sporting event because I was at the others, racing to hopefully see at least five minutes of it.   There was no time for a hello to someone I haven't spoken to in many years.  What was worse was missing out on the second sporting event.  I got to say hi to my son and hear how it went.  None the less my choice has me upset.  Does the one that didn't get me feel like I chose the other over him?  That is an incredibly uncomfortable thought.  I wanted to cry to you because you always make me feel better.  But it was not the time for tears.  What a comfort it was just being in your presence.  You and your wonderful Dad.  It is amazing how loved ones work magic on your heart without them even knowing your heart needed mending.